Hey, Thyroid.
We've been through a lot together, you & me. For some twenty-five years things were pretty good. You formed when I was about 12 weeks old gestationally & did what you needed to do - helped me breathe once I was born, kept my heart at a steady rate, helped my body maintain a comfortable temperature, kept my weight where it needed to be, & eventually kept my periods regular (which was super awesome, by the way).
But then...you changed, Thyroid.
I don't know if you were jealous of my new appreciation for the other parts of my body after having a baby. Maybe you felt neglected, like I all of a sudden was more awed by my reproductive organs than I was by you & the rest of the endocrine gals. But, if I'm being totally honest, I had never given you any thought before. I took you granted, Thyroid, & for that I am truly sorry. But the way you behaved after my oldest was born was pretty extreme.
I guess I just got sick & tired of being, well, sick & tired. Of my heart feeling like a Mexican jumping bean, getting out of breath walking up the stairs of my house. Sick of my hands shaking like Gene Wilder's in Blazing Saddles. Sick of sweating in my sleep even when it was negative temps outside. Sick of my eyes feeling tired & dry all the time. Sick of my hairline threatening to move into George Costanza territory.
The worst was the fatigue & the emotional combat you waged. As if it's not tiring enough chasing after one, then two, then three boys, you had to make it so hard that I could barely stay up past 8:30 some nights? Really? You made me crazy. You made me depressed. You made me anxious & irritable & robbed me of the joys that should have come with the first year of my firstborn's life.
Sometimes you even made me want to die, Thyroid.
We just wanted different things. Sure, it was nice of you to help me lose that baby weight really quickly, but you went kind of overboard once in a while. I'd like to have more kids. You? Not so much.
So enough was enough. No more feeling like shit. No more drugs that mess up my liver. No more going on this drug for a few weeks, then switching to that one, then this dosage, then that one, then nothing. Then BOOM, gotta be back on it again. Additional drugs to help with symptoms, ones that scrambled my brain that I seriously considered checking myself into an in-patient institution a couple of times.
It was time, Thyroid. Time to head our separate ways.
I'm sorry it had to come to this. Really, I am. I'm sorry you had to be cut out of my life & my body in such a violent way. And I know that I'll feel your absence. I know you being gone isn't gonna solve all my problems. I know there are still going to be plenty of drug tests, co-pays, hoofing it to my endo's office, figuring out dosages, monitoring symptoms.
I hope you won't hold it against me. We had a good run. Twenty-five years of working versus five of going nutso isn't so bad, especially compared to what other folks have to go through. But...you know how it is; I've got a family now. They need me to be here, & not just physically. It was time to break-up, once & for all.
I hope you'll forgive me, Thyroid, just as I've forgiven you.
Love,
LK
P.S. I hope you like the cool scar that's been left in your place. I'll be sure to concoct an awesome story to go with it. I'm thinking something having to do with fighting off assassins.
We've been through a lot together, you & me. For some twenty-five years things were pretty good. You formed when I was about 12 weeks old gestationally & did what you needed to do - helped me breathe once I was born, kept my heart at a steady rate, helped my body maintain a comfortable temperature, kept my weight where it needed to be, & eventually kept my periods regular (which was super awesome, by the way).
But then...you changed, Thyroid.
I don't know if you were jealous of my new appreciation for the other parts of my body after having a baby. Maybe you felt neglected, like I all of a sudden was more awed by my reproductive organs than I was by you & the rest of the endocrine gals. But, if I'm being totally honest, I had never given you any thought before. I took you granted, Thyroid, & for that I am truly sorry. But the way you behaved after my oldest was born was pretty extreme.
I guess I just got sick & tired of being, well, sick & tired. Of my heart feeling like a Mexican jumping bean, getting out of breath walking up the stairs of my house. Sick of my hands shaking like Gene Wilder's in Blazing Saddles. Sick of sweating in my sleep even when it was negative temps outside. Sick of my eyes feeling tired & dry all the time. Sick of my hairline threatening to move into George Costanza territory.
The worst was the fatigue & the emotional combat you waged. As if it's not tiring enough chasing after one, then two, then three boys, you had to make it so hard that I could barely stay up past 8:30 some nights? Really? You made me crazy. You made me depressed. You made me anxious & irritable & robbed me of the joys that should have come with the first year of my firstborn's life.
Sometimes you even made me want to die, Thyroid.
We just wanted different things. Sure, it was nice of you to help me lose that baby weight really quickly, but you went kind of overboard once in a while. I'd like to have more kids. You? Not so much.
So enough was enough. No more feeling like shit. No more drugs that mess up my liver. No more going on this drug for a few weeks, then switching to that one, then this dosage, then that one, then nothing. Then BOOM, gotta be back on it again. Additional drugs to help with symptoms, ones that scrambled my brain that I seriously considered checking myself into an in-patient institution a couple of times.
It was time, Thyroid. Time to head our separate ways.
I'm sorry it had to come to this. Really, I am. I'm sorry you had to be cut out of my life & my body in such a violent way. And I know that I'll feel your absence. I know you being gone isn't gonna solve all my problems. I know there are still going to be plenty of drug tests, co-pays, hoofing it to my endo's office, figuring out dosages, monitoring symptoms.
I hope you won't hold it against me. We had a good run. Twenty-five years of working versus five of going nutso isn't so bad, especially compared to what other folks have to go through. But...you know how it is; I've got a family now. They need me to be here, & not just physically. It was time to break-up, once & for all.
I hope you'll forgive me, Thyroid, just as I've forgiven you.
Love,
LK
P.S. I hope you like the cool scar that's been left in your place. I'll be sure to concoct an awesome story to go with it. I'm thinking something having to do with fighting off assassins.
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